an open letter to the President of the United States

Dear Mr. President,


I would just like to say that you are making my life hell again - this time in a very mundane and practical way.


Since you are giving the commencement speech at Furman University tonight at 8pm (thank you very much, Gov. Sanford; by the way, he's a douchebag for other reasons too, don't worry), and Air Force One is arriving at GSP sometime in the late afternoon, the esteemed Greenville News has advised Greenville residents to "get where you're going by 3, and stay there." That's FABULOUS, because I have to work from 315-815 tonight at the mall, and I have to go the opposite direction on the direct route that the motorcade will be taking (I assume; they won't actually tell us), and every intersection that you, Senor Presidente, will be passing through will be locked down. Which, by the way, doesn't necessarily mean just that intersection; it could be several intersections around it as well. But they won't tell us that either.


Also, you have to buy TICKETS to protest. Which, hello, makes no sense. And if I had said tickets, I'm pretty sure at this point I would make a sign that has the First Amendment on it. That's all. Although not being able to get your line of sight to show you the First Amendment... well, that's got an irony all its own.


Tell me, Mr. President: do you ever see anyone that disagrees with you anymore? Have we no one throwing dead rats over the White House fence? Do approval ratings and polls and unemployment numbers and gas prices and foreclosure stats mean nothing to you? Are they just numbers? I watch The West Wing; surely you have staffers that deal with these things and make them known to you.


Plus I have free Indiana Jones tickets waiting for me tonight and I'm not sure I'll be able to get to the theater... as it is also in the direct line of Presidential movement.


AWESOME.


So please, Mr. President, when you've stopped endorsing a sell-out Republican Presidential nominee...
and when you've stopped saying that you're going to stop playing golf as a show of solidarity for our troops (but actually continue to play it)...
and when you've stopped letting our boys and girls get killed and maimed for a perpetuated political lie...
and when you've stopped using the United States Constitution as recyclable toilet paper...
and when you've stopped letting oil companies rape the citizens of this country that need that extra $2 a gallon back, so they don't have to decide if they should pay their heating bill or feed their kids...
and when you've stopped the predatory practices of lending companies on college students (who can't get jobs in their fields, thank you for that as well)...
and when you've stopped letting children go hungry and uninsured in the Richest Country in the World...

Please, let me know. Because I'd like to be there to witness it.


xoxo,
the People of the United States